My Superhero Name
by DryadSpeaks
Summary: Written for the Quartie Ficathon.  The prompt was "Artie, you have the perfect superhero secret identity name. Like Peter Parker or Matt Murdock."   banter


**Written for this prompt from the Quinn/Artie Forum:**

_**"Artie, you have the perfect superhero secret identity name. Like Peter Parker or Matt Murdock." **____**banter**_

"I could never be a superhero."

"Artie, you have the perfect superhero secret identity name. Like Peter Parker or Matt Murdock. Artie Abrams. It just fits!"

He grinned at her. "Quinn, even if I do have the perfect superhero secret identity name, I could still never be a superhero. I mean, sure, if I could fly, then great...but what about when I land? I'd need to carry around some sort of space-age folding wheelchair for all ground-related activities, and that would just be awkward and time-consuming. People would be killed before I could save them."

She burst out laughing. "Space-age folding wheelchair? Ground-related activities?"

"Well...just being realistic," he said, grinning at her. "I mean...it's not like being a superhero would give me the ability to walk, right? So I'd need to...be a creative superhero. Not that superheroes aren't creative to begin with, I would just need to be...more."

"Well, I think you'd be the best superhero ever!" she said. "You could save the damsel in distress."

He laughed. "I could just fly down, grab them, and fly away, without actually having to land. How would that be? That would eliminate the need for the space-age folding wheelchair."

"Well, I'd be fine with it, but other damsels might be freaked out. Or would you be one of those superheroes that has celebrity status, and they'd know who you are?"

"Um...obviously," he said. "I didn't think I needed to make that clear. Plus...they'd see me coming in my hot pink and yellow spandex a mile away."

"Hot pink and yellow? What's your superhero name going to be, the Giant Easter Egg?"

He burst out laughing. "I wouldn't actually want those colours. I was just thinking of something flashy."

She laughed. "What about bright blue and silver?"

"Great, then they could call me Icy Steel."

"Um...what?" she said. "Worst superhero name ever."

He grinned. "What about green? They could call me the Human Alligator?"

"Artie...you're supposed to be a superhero, not an attraction at one of those sideshow things."

"Ok, then what about red? I could be called Double A on Fire!"

"That's not a superhero name!" she said, throwing a balled-up piece of paper at him.

"Could you call me that anyway?" he asked. "I kind of like it. You know, when we're...having sexy time?"

She burst out laughing. "No. I will definitely never call you that. And especially not while we're being intimate. Because that would totally kill the mood."

He sighed. "Fine. Would you call me the Red Fox?"

"Better, but now you sound like a villain," she said, grinning at him. "And I wanted you to be the good kind of superhero."

"Aren't all superheroes the good kind?" he asked. "Aren't the bad ones called villains?"

"I don't know," she said. "But the Red Fox sounds...villainous."

"Ok, then what about Red Dynamite?"

"...Because you explode things?" she said, smirking. "I don't think that sends the right message."

"Well, then you find me a superhero name, woman!" he said, throwing the ball of paper back at her. "Because I clearly suck at it!"

"I don't know. I do like Red Fox...you'd just really have to make sure you have a good image with the public, so they don't think you're...villainy."

"And then I could just swoop in, save the day, and fly away? What about defeating the villains?"

She grinned. "Maybe you'd need an assistant to take care of the villains. I could be your assistant."

"And what would your name be?" he asked, grinning back at her.

"I wouldn't have one. I'd just be Red Fox's Girl."

"I don't like that," he said. "Besides...it sounds like you'd be doing most of the work in this scenario, so you really need a name."

"How about Foxywoman?" she asked.

"No. But...can I call you that next time we're getting it on?"

"Artie!" she said, smacking him. "No, you can't!"

He sighed again. "Fine. You never want me to have any fun."

"You're the one that started this conversation!" she reminded him.

Then, he had a thought. "Oh. My. Gosh. I know. You know those jet things that Iron Man has? I could attach those to my chair. PROBLEM SOLVED!"

She burst out laughing. "That sounds dangerous. And...like you might set yourself on fire."

"Duh, my suit would be fireproof," he said. "And I'd be strapped in. It would be perfect!"

She giggled. "And what would we call you? Rocket Man? The Red Rocket?"

"YES!" Artie shouted, a little louder than intended. "I'll have the jets, and I'll be the Red Rocket. BEST SUPERHERO NAME EVER!"

"Artie...I hate to burst your bubble, but I think that name might already be taken..." she said.

"No. That was Rocket Red. If I'm the Red Rocket, I think I'm ok as far as that goes. And, if not...then I could just be the reboot, right?"

She burst out laughing. "You're such a nerd."

"Says the person who just came up with my superhero name..." he said, grinning at her.

"Oh, whatever," she said. "Now...Double A on Fire...come here."

He gasped. "Did you just call me Double A on Fire? Does this mean what I think it means?"

She laughed. "As I said...come here. And then you'll find out."

**A/N: QUARTIE FICATHON NOW IN PROG**"**RESS! All the fics that have been posted so far are AMAZING, and anyone reading this should go read them all!**

**Or...better yet...join us and write some! Details can be found in the Quinn/Artie Forum, or you can PM me!**


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